Saltwater Joys

Hi Baby Boy,

I"m in Trouty- it's a beautiful sunny day- a little wind, a little cool- but a beautiful Newfoundland day. Your sister is napping, your Grandma and Poppy are out helping the neighbours get organized for a community party tonight. All I can think of is you.

I look out the window and see the trees, the hills and mountains, the river leading into the Ocean. Three kitty-cats next door just waiting to be chased by a 2 year old boy. A little orchard, flower garden, vegetable garden- just waiting to be pounced on. A Poppy- loving his granddaughter more than anything in this world- but longing to hear the 'why's' of a 2 year old, yearning to take that 2 year old out fishing, down to the wharf, to touch the salt sea. A Grandma singing to her granddaughter and so proud- but behind it- missing the toddler, walking along side her down the lane, longing to have a tag-along to help pick blueberries- having to give your face a big wash when you come back because it's full of blue- and the basket is empty.

It is beautiful here, Noah. I feel closer to you, closer to God.  I even feel closer to myself.
It's calm- It's beautiful- It's right- It's home.
It's where I wish so much I could have raised you, and could raise your siblings.
It's where I wish everyone could see at least once in their lifetime- so they could have a glimpse into a world only miles away- but so different than their fast-paced-dirty-busy-smoggy place where most live.

I miss you my boy. I grieve for the time we would have had together- just doing nothing, just being ourselves.

for now, I will have to hang onto your little sister a little tighter... hold her a little closer, look deeply into her blueberry eyes- so I can see you- you will always be a part of her- the big brother, she'll never know.

I love you forever
Mummy



Saltwater Joys- one of my favourite, nostaligic songs. The lyrics are just amazing to me- and oh, so true