**Disclaimer** If you know me in my 'real' life and stumble across this blog- please know that I write here for healing, and to feel close to my Noah, and close to my grief. At times these letters may seem sad, angry, and at times, crazy. Please don't worry about me- this is how I help myself heal. If you have questions, just ask- if you know me well at all, you know that I love talking about my Noah.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Long time

Hi Monkey,
I'm sorry it's been so long since I've written to you,.. alot has happened!
On Saturday, Mummy and Daddy had about 30 people over to the house, and they all went to see your tree. Jamie- you know, the one who put water on your face before you went to heaven, he spoke a bit, and then Mummy and Daddy said stuff.
It was ncie to have everyone here.
I also don't think I told you that Poppy developed a scholorship/endowment fund in your name... it's called "The Noah Awards"- it's a great idea and it makes all of us happy to know that there is a permanant thing put in place as a sort of memorial for you- that also helps others!!
Then.. on sunday, SickKids has a NICU remembrance service for the families whose babies died at SickKids over the past year.

Mummy and Daddy might put our Christmas tree up this weekend.. I am kind of looking forward to putting all the special ornaments that remind me of you on the tree.
christmas won't be the same this year though not without you here.. when you ere supposed to be.

Also, Mummy and Daddy are one step closer to making you a big brother... we have to get help to do it though, unfortunatly ... but we're getting there.. hopefully soon I will be able to announce it to you! that you will be a big brother!!!! ,.. but not yet.. slowly but surely.

Well.. we love you Noah.. we love you so much. you are the best thing that ever happened to your daddy and I.

Sunday, November 9, 2008


Love you little man..
Miss you so much..
Wish you were here with me..
Love you forever..

Sunday, November 2, 2008


Hi Monkey Man,

Well.. Mummy and Daddy just got back from Cuba. We had a good time! The first few days were really sunny.. but the rest of the days were dull and rainy. It didn't matter much though, because Mummy and Daddy had each other to keep them company. I just am not as tanned as I wish I was!!

It was nice to get away from everything in Canada... nice to be around people who don't look at us with that 'pity face' and try to make us feel better... Nice to sort of take a break from this crazy year... but hard to come back to it...urgh... if only we could go to Cuba once a month!

We miss you so much baby boy. others have stopped talking about you, and asking about you.. but don't worry ... we never will. You are on Mummy and Daddy's heart and mind every single day. people say it gets easier.. but I think it just gets more regular to be here with out you... not any easier.. just that we are more used to it. How can it get easier when there is no way you can ever come back to us.. it can't.

Well baby bear.. we love you more than anything.

Mummy and Daddy