"This award is for bloggers who post from their heart, those who write from the depths of their soul."
There are some simple rules to accept this award. Firstly, pass the award on to 7 other bloggers and secondly, list 10 honest and hopefully interesting things about yourself.
SO, I pass on the Honest Scrap award to the following bloggers:
Beth - http://stillmybabykatie.blogspot.com/
Heather - http://mystolenlight.blogspot.com/
Rebekah - http://mylifeafterlevi.blogspot.com/
Cameron's Mom- http://www.lifewithoutcameron.com/
10 honest things about me:
1. I am much less 'OK' than most people in my daily life think I am. For some reason I portray this image of a strong, 'with it', 'together' woman-- people do'nt realize that I'm not.
2. I wish I were younger- even though I am already young- I wanted to be finished having my children by now- and to the world, I am just beginning.
3. I don't dream about Noah- but I wish I did
4. I secretly love reality TV!... I know, I know!
5. My last truly happy day was April 7th 2008. I have come to grips with the fact that none of my days will ever be this happy, as I will never have my complete family here with me. I will never be truly complete here on earth without Noah.
6. When I was a little girl I wanted to be a doctor... now, I'm terrified of them, and nurses, and hospitals, and any opinion they may have.
7. I could work harder at my job.
8. The past 17 months has felt so long, yet has also been a blur- which I can't escape from.
9. I hate when people ask me 'how are you feeling', in regards to the pregnancy, and then say things like 'How have the ultrasounds been', I say.. 'fine' they say, 'well, you have nothing to worrry about then- you will have a healthy baby'. It makes me want to shake them and say- Noah was thought to be 'healthy' until about 12 hours before he died in my arms.
10. blogging helps me grieve- it helps me think- it helps me be me- somewhere where people understand what it might be like to be me- somewhere where speaking of a dead baby is not taboo, and is not reacted to by turning away in awkwardness. Thank you all for that.
Well, That's that.
happy blogging everyone
Hello Baby Noah,
Another one of those blog posts that isn't a letter to you- must be confusing sometimes! But you're a smart boy, you'll figure it out!
Gramma and Grampy arrive today with Auntie Kristin.
I wish you were here to see them,
Love you forever,