**Disclaimer** If you know me in my 'real' life and stumble across this blog- please know that I write here for healing, and to feel close to my Noah, and close to my grief. At times these letters may seem sad, angry, and at times, crazy. Please don't worry about me- this is how I help myself heal. If you have questions, just ask- if you know me well at all, you know that I love talking about my Noah.

Monday, July 8, 2013

You're in Him

Dear Noah, 

I've always felt you. You are in the trees which rustle in the breeze, you're in the giggles of small children, and the silence of my living room when the family it in bed. I  feel you always 

Your brother arrived, as planned, on April 30th. He was, and is a healthy little boy. His own little person with his own little personality coming out more and more everyday. Your sister adores him. She can't help herself but to cuddle and kiss him whenever she can. 

He is himself, a unique, wonderful boy. But you are in him. I can feel you.
He has your knowing eyes. Those eyes that you look into and see a soul. A being. A spirit. A life. A deep emotion. Those eyes that are bright and open, taking in all they can. I can tell he will be a boy who sees the good in people, and does good for people, for the world, for his family, for himself. 

I wish you had a chance to be his big brother here on earth to cuddle him and kiss him, and fight over time with him with your sister. 

Thank you for putting a little bit of you in him. So now, I can not only feel you everywhere, but I can get a glimpse of you too.  

I'll attach a few pictures of your brother, Spencer. 

I'll love you forever, Noah.