I love you, I miss you, I'm sorry

Dear Little Noah Bear,

It's been so long since Mummy has written.

What a whirlwind this month has been with Mummy working, and Daddy looking for work.

I've thought about you so much over the past while- wondering what you'd be up to if you were here with us.

There is only so much to write about these days. You know it all.

I love you- I miss you- I'm sorry.
I often think about writing a post- of get something on my mind that I'd love to write about.. but then.. I either fall asleep ( I get some good thoughts at night), or, I just can't bring myself to write it down. I used to write everything- good, bad and ugly.  Now that the ugly, most days, has lessened... I don't need to rant as much about things.
and really how many times can I say - I love you, I miss you, I'm sorry.

I could shout it from the rooftops, over a loud speaker at the mall, say it quietly in my heart, write an angry letter, or a happy note- either way it's still true. either way it doesn't change. either way people won't understand really and truly what it is to be me missing you, either way... I love you,  I miss you, I'm sorry.

No matter how often I write, You are forever on my heart and mind. You forever have a piece of my soul that is with you- lost from me- but with you. You are forever my baby boy, my first child, the little boy who made me a Mummy.
 I love you, I miss you, I'm sorry.

Love you forever,
Mummy