A 'What if' Day

Dear Noah,

I love you, my boy.

I love you so very much  that the world does not have enough words to describe it.

It's that love that makes the pain so hard.

More love = more pain, I think.

Mummy is home today with your sister. I love being home with her, playing with her, watching her drink her milk, and fall asleep in my arms.

But, I'm having a 'What if' sort of day.
What if- you were here?
What if you hadn't died?
What if... What if... What if...

I love you baby boy. Yesterday, today and tomorrow too.

Love you forever,
Mummy