Fun Run

Hi Noah..
We had the Fun Run on saturday! it was great.. I felt so special and loved to have so many friends come out as part of 'Team Noah' for you!

Your tree is going to be planted soon!! Yippy!! It will be so nice to be able to walk down and see your tree every day afterwork with your Casey Puppy!!

We love you Noah..
I miss you so much
Mummy

The Dance, By garth brooks

Looking back on the memory of

The dance we shared 'neath the stars above

For a moment all the world was right

How could I have known that you'd ever say goodbye
And now I'm glad I didn't know

The way it all would end the way it all would go

Our lives are better left to chance

I could have missed the pain

But I'd of had to miss the dance

Holding you I held everything

For a moment wasn't I a

But if I'd only known how the king would fall

Hey who's to say you know I might have chanced it all

And now I'm glad I didn't know

The way it all would end the way it all would go

Our lives are better left to chance

I could have missed the pain

But I'd of had to miss the dance

Yes my life is better left to chance

I could have missed the pain but I'd of had to miss the dance.

Love

I love you
I miss you
I need a cuddle

Love, Mummy
xoxo

It's Friday

Hi Monkey!
Finally it's friday! It feels like I have been waiting forever for this weekend.
It's been a long week.

Daddy is fixing the front stairs- I think they are going to look really nice :)

Casey has been a pretty good boy latly.. not barking at too many people! I wish you had gotten to meet him!! You would have loved him.

The Kitties are good too.. they are still pretty cuddly!

We all miss you a lot
I'm sorry we haven't been to Kingston to 'see you' lately. I've missed seeing your little monument. We are going to go for Thanksgiving this year.. and Bryar's Mommy and Daddy might come and see you too! I think that would be nice for ya!

I love you forever
I like you for always
as long as I'm living
my baby you'll be

Love, Mummy xoxox

Thankful

HI Monkey..
I've been thinking about you A LOT this past week.. I am contantly thinking about you.. but this week is different.. it is an extra hard week. So, I've been trying to think of things that will make me happy.. because I know you would want me to be happy... So I am going to write you a list of little things I am thankful for... since there is so much bad stuff that happened to you.. I want you to know about all the GOOD stuff.. the little stuf that we forget sometimes.

I am thankful that I got pregnant with you so quickly, and didn't have to wait for you to me in belly
I am thankful that you got to go on 2 trips to Newfoundland, my favourite place (you were in my belly)
I am thankful that I wasn't sick during my pregnancy with you
I am thankful that I was a 'cute' pregnant person!
I am thankful that I had so many ultrasounds and got to see you growing
I am thankful that we got a 3D4D ultrasound, and that you looked to peaceful
I am thankful that we got a teddy for each grandma with your heartbeat in it
I am thankful that we found out your gender
I am thankful that we named you before you were born
I am thankful that you were named a strong, family name that means a lot to both sides of the family
I am thankful that your grandparents were so happy that you were on your way, and so supportive during the pregnancy
I am thankful that my best friends threw me baby showers
I am thankful that you got to have a christmas while in my belly
I am thankful that you got christmas presents that christmas
I am thankful that we have christmas ornaments that remind us of you
I am thankful that we took time, and love into planning your nursery
I am thankful that we chose to use froggies in your room
I am thankful that I got 41 1/2 weeks with you in my belly
I am thankful that your grandma and poppy came to visit for so long before you were born
I am thankful that I finished work 2 weeks before you were born and had time to really feel you move and kick without the stress of work
I am thankful that you were born at the beginning of a month (I know that is weird, but I like the beginning of months better!)
I am thankful that you were born in the spring
I am thankful that your great nanny, and all your great grammpies went to heaven before you, so they could take care of you for me
I am thankful that you were so perfect when you were born
I am thankful that your daddy was by my side when you were born
I am thankful that your daddy got to hold you and take pictures of you for one whole hour before any one else, that was your special time
I am thankful that when I held you, you kept your eyes open to see me
I am thankful that I felt an instant bond with you
I am thankful that you look like your daddy, and your mummy
I am thankful that all your grandparents were here for your birth
I am thankful for how excited your family and our friends were about you being here
I am thankful for getting a single room at the hospital
I am thankful for a nurse named Clover
I am thankful that we live near the best children's hospital in the country- where you got the best care possible
I am thankful that the doctors and nurses at SickKids seemed to be compassonate people
I am thankful that we had 2 beautiful days with you
I am thankful that you were baptized
I am thankful that Lori gave you clothes to wear after your surgery
I am thankful that you stayed alive after your surgery for us to say goodbye
I am thankful that I sang you a song
I am thankful that daddy read you a book
I am thankful that your grandma and poppy got to sing the song they made up for you
I am thankful that everyone got to hold you
I am thankful that before you died you squeezed my hand and opened your eyes
I am thankful that I felt such an unconditional love
I am thankful that once you were ready, you passed away quickly and without pain
I am thankful that you are so beautiful
I am thankful that we have so many pictures of you
I am thankful for the pictures that Lori took
I am thankful for the molds of your hands
I am thankful that we didn't have to give you an autopsy because we were certain of how you died
I am thankful that Uncle Peter and Aunt Kate could come to your services
I am thankful that people could see your beautiful face
I am thankful for the little outfit that your great gramma made, that you are wearing now
I am thankful for businesses in Kingston that were very generous
I am thankful for the family support we received and are still recieving
I am thankful that I learned some new things since you were born
I am thankful that you have touched so many people's lives
I am thankful that butterflies, frogs and g-rafs remind me of you
I am thanksful that 2008 is the 'Year of the Frog' - it really is!
I am thankful that your daddy is the most wonderful man in the world
I am thankful for organizations that help suppoer people who lose their babies, and who 'get it'
I am thankful that I am living- although some days it is hard
I am thanksul for the internet, where I met so many great mommys to so many other angels
I am thankful that I know I will never forget you
I am thankful for your life
I am thankful that you are my first born child
I am thankful that noone will ever replace you
I am thankful that you have helped us through these past few months
I am thankful that daddy and I are trying to make you a big brother
I am thankful for YOU!

And that is just the 'I am thankful for's ' that I could think of on the spot... see... you did so much.. you made me so happy! Life isn't the same without you.. but I wouldn't have taken away any of the moments I had with you

I love you Noah..

Mummy

Hello My Love

Hi Little man,

it is early in the morning, and I have to go to work very, very, soon. I don't feel well today... in lots of ways.. my throat hurts, and I am so sad. I don'tknow if I will be able to make it the whole day today at school. I guess we will see.

yesterday was the first time since you were born that someone asked me if I had kids. it caught me off guard a little- to tell you the truth I expected it a lot more.. but I guess I look young, and don't have any kids with me... and most people know about you, and unfortunatly don't like to bring you up in conversation.. just in case I get 'sad'.... little do they know that I want them to talk about you.. that I am already to sad for my own good.. and ignoring you just makes me sader.
Anyway.. it was Auntie deborah's friend that asked. I said 'Yes, we have a son, but he passed away'.... I do wish I could just say 'yes, I have a son, and he is 6 months old and wonderful.. he is being babysat right now'... I hate that I have to tell peple that you've pased away.. but I do have to. I'm glad I didn't say 'no' to her question. I don't want to ever make it sound like you didn't exist on th is earth, and that we didn't love you more than anything ever in the whole world.

Anyway love, Mummy has to go to work. I wish I didn't.

I love you, Daddy loves you

Love,
Mummy

Busy, Busy, Busy

Hi my little man,

I am sorry I haven't written as much latly. I have been so busy with work, and meetings- but don't you worry- I never stop thinking about you.
I do everything a little differently because you were here. I love you so much.
I want to hold you, and have you near me Noah. I miss you.

Take care, I hope you aren't too lonely.

I love you forever,
I like you for always,
as long as I'm living,
My baby you'll be.

Mummy