Thankful

HI Monkey..
I've been thinking about you A LOT this past week.. I am contantly thinking about you.. but this week is different.. it is an extra hard week. So, I've been trying to think of things that will make me happy.. because I know you would want me to be happy... So I am going to write you a list of little things I am thankful for... since there is so much bad stuff that happened to you.. I want you to know about all the GOOD stuff.. the little stuf that we forget sometimes.

I am thankful that I got pregnant with you so quickly, and didn't have to wait for you to me in belly
I am thankful that you got to go on 2 trips to Newfoundland, my favourite place (you were in my belly)
I am thankful that I wasn't sick during my pregnancy with you
I am thankful that I was a 'cute' pregnant person!
I am thankful that I had so many ultrasounds and got to see you growing
I am thankful that we got a 3D4D ultrasound, and that you looked to peaceful
I am thankful that we got a teddy for each grandma with your heartbeat in it
I am thankful that we found out your gender
I am thankful that we named you before you were born
I am thankful that you were named a strong, family name that means a lot to both sides of the family
I am thankful that your grandparents were so happy that you were on your way, and so supportive during the pregnancy
I am thankful that my best friends threw me baby showers
I am thankful that you got to have a christmas while in my belly
I am thankful that you got christmas presents that christmas
I am thankful that we have christmas ornaments that remind us of you
I am thankful that we took time, and love into planning your nursery
I am thankful that we chose to use froggies in your room
I am thankful that I got 41 1/2 weeks with you in my belly
I am thankful that your grandma and poppy came to visit for so long before you were born
I am thankful that I finished work 2 weeks before you were born and had time to really feel you move and kick without the stress of work
I am thankful that you were born at the beginning of a month (I know that is weird, but I like the beginning of months better!)
I am thankful that you were born in the spring
I am thankful that your great nanny, and all your great grammpies went to heaven before you, so they could take care of you for me
I am thankful that you were so perfect when you were born
I am thankful that your daddy was by my side when you were born
I am thankful that your daddy got to hold you and take pictures of you for one whole hour before any one else, that was your special time
I am thankful that when I held you, you kept your eyes open to see me
I am thankful that I felt an instant bond with you
I am thankful that you look like your daddy, and your mummy
I am thankful that all your grandparents were here for your birth
I am thankful for how excited your family and our friends were about you being here
I am thankful for getting a single room at the hospital
I am thankful for a nurse named Clover
I am thankful that we live near the best children's hospital in the country- where you got the best care possible
I am thankful that the doctors and nurses at SickKids seemed to be compassonate people
I am thankful that we had 2 beautiful days with you
I am thankful that you were baptized
I am thankful that Lori gave you clothes to wear after your surgery
I am thankful that you stayed alive after your surgery for us to say goodbye
I am thankful that I sang you a song
I am thankful that daddy read you a book
I am thankful that your grandma and poppy got to sing the song they made up for you
I am thankful that everyone got to hold you
I am thankful that before you died you squeezed my hand and opened your eyes
I am thankful that I felt such an unconditional love
I am thankful that once you were ready, you passed away quickly and without pain
I am thankful that you are so beautiful
I am thankful that we have so many pictures of you
I am thankful for the pictures that Lori took
I am thankful for the molds of your hands
I am thankful that we didn't have to give you an autopsy because we were certain of how you died
I am thankful that Uncle Peter and Aunt Kate could come to your services
I am thankful that people could see your beautiful face
I am thankful for the little outfit that your great gramma made, that you are wearing now
I am thankful for businesses in Kingston that were very generous
I am thankful for the family support we received and are still recieving
I am thankful that I learned some new things since you were born
I am thankful that you have touched so many people's lives
I am thankful that butterflies, frogs and g-rafs remind me of you
I am thanksful that 2008 is the 'Year of the Frog' - it really is!
I am thankful that your daddy is the most wonderful man in the world
I am thankful for organizations that help suppoer people who lose their babies, and who 'get it'
I am thankful that I am living- although some days it is hard
I am thanksul for the internet, where I met so many great mommys to so many other angels
I am thankful that I know I will never forget you
I am thankful for your life
I am thankful that you are my first born child
I am thankful that noone will ever replace you
I am thankful that you have helped us through these past few months
I am thankful that daddy and I are trying to make you a big brother
I am thankful for YOU!

And that is just the 'I am thankful for's ' that I could think of on the spot... see... you did so much.. you made me so happy! Life isn't the same without you.. but I wouldn't have taken away any of the moments I had with you

I love you Noah..

Mummy