**Disclaimer** If you know me in my 'real' life and stumble across this blog- please know that I write here for healing, and to feel close to my Noah, and close to my grief. At times these letters may seem sad, angry, and at times, crazy. Please don't worry about me- this is how I help myself heal. If you have questions, just ask- if you know me well at all, you know that I love talking about my Noah.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Mother's Day?

Hi Monkey,

Today is Mother's Day... The second one since I've known and loved you.
I know you consider me a Mother- which makes me so happy- I just wish you were here, so you and daddy could do regular Mother's day stuff with me. It's such an awkward day now that you're gone, and not many know I am pregnant with your little sibling.
Not many people acknowledge that I'm a mother anymore- I think most try to avoid the subject altogether. I know they don't try to hurt me- they just don't know what to say- noone knows what to say-- not even daddy sometimes.

Please know that I am your Mummy.. and I love you just as much as I will love the rest of my children. Everyday- whether Mother's day or not- I think of you, I wish for you, I need you. This will never change.
Thank you for making me a Mummy. Whether anyone else cares/knows/acknowledges it or not- We will always have that- Just us- you're my first baby- and you made me a mother. Thank you!
I love you forever,


dragonfly domain said...

HAPPY MOTHER'S day to you....
No matter if they are here or in heaven. No matter if you were pregnant a day, or had them with you for 10 years... or 20... you are still a momma. You always will be.
May you be blessed today, May your heart be filled with the love of our Lord. May you find peace in His arms. and may your heart begin to heal with the Love of our Lord.

God Bless you today,
Me in little town USA alaska