**Disclaimer** If you know me in my 'real' life and stumble across this blog- please know that I write here for healing, and to feel close to my Noah, and close to my grief. At times these letters may seem sad, angry, and at times, crazy. Please don't worry about me- this is how I help myself heal. If you have questions, just ask- if you know me well at all, you know that I love talking about my Noah.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Missing my boys

Hi Baby bear,

I miss you a lot right now.. your sister is having a nap, and Casey wants to go for a walk, but he's going to have to settle for the backyard right now.
Daddy is away right now- he is in Niagara Falls for meetings over the next few days. It's the first time I've been alone with your sister, it will be the first time I've been alone this long since before you were born.

I miss you
your soft hair
the nape of your neck
I miss you

I love you
your wrinkly feet
your long piano fingers
I love you

I need you
your big brown eyes
and little button nose
I need you

I miss you
my only son
my forever joy
I miss you

I miss both my boys right now- luckily, I know Matt is coming home, unluckily, my baby boy is not.

this is the only picture we have of daddy and you.... we thought we'd have a lot more time. This was taken about 1 hour after you were born, on the night of April 6th 2008.... oh, to have that day back... what Mummy would do. 

Love you forever,


Akul's mama said...

I learnt from you that the missing never goes away. I hear the longing in your voice. Hugssssss.

Brownie said...


I stumbled upon your blog and couldn't leave without leaving a cyber hug.

Beth said...

this is a beautiful post, as always <3