**Disclaimer** If you know me in my 'real' life and stumble across this blog- please know that I write here for healing, and to feel close to my Noah, and close to my grief. At times these letters may seem sad, angry, and at times, crazy. Please don't worry about me- this is how I help myself heal. If you have questions, just ask- if you know me well at all, you know that I love talking about my Noah.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Greek Yogurt

Costco... picked up some yogurt.... automatically looked at expiry date... April 6....

What? April 6th is coming up already. Can't be. Every year at some point in March I look at something and there it is- Noah's birthday.

It's a good reminder. A reminder of so many precious moments, memories and feelings... but not enough. And these precious moments, memories and feelings are now tainted by the memories, moments and feelings from April 8th and the days following.

For some reason- April 6th catches me off guard. Every time I see it. Every.time.

Noah would be 3 years old this April 6th. I would already know how to 'walk through' the toddler years with a child- perfecting it with Charlotte. I would know what the 'terrible twos' would be like- how can they be terrible if your child's alive?

So much I wish for... so much never to know.

It's hard. But it's real.

Instead- I'll do something I can do- Hold my darling girl a little closer, make sure she knows about her big brother, and do everything in my power to keep Noah's beautiful spirit alive.

I love you forever Noah. But you already know that!



Bree said...

Thinking of you and Noah the next few weeks. It's such a difficult time of year. xo