**Disclaimer** If you know me in my 'real' life and stumble across this blog- please know that I write here for healing, and to feel close to my Noah, and close to my grief. At times these letters may seem sad, angry, and at times, crazy. Please don't worry about me- this is how I help myself heal. If you have questions, just ask- if you know me well at all, you know that I love talking about my Noah.

Monday, December 8, 2008


Well.. It is officially the Christmas Season.. last your you would ahve heard Christmas in my belly... lots of jingly music and the sound of crunching paper.. from opening gifts... this year.. it is so hard. I didn't think Christmas would ever behard... I didn't think that those two words.. hard and Christmas would be in the same sentence.
On saturday we went to the Mall to look for a coat for daddy.. and boy, was it hard.. strollers, babies, kids, happy parents, happy families.. all so excited for the season, so exicted to see Santa.. I couldn't stand it without you. I needed to leave.. so we did.
That probably would have been the weekend that we brought you to have your picture taken with Santa. Oh.. how I would love to see what you would have looked like at 8 months old! so handsome i'm sure!

I love you Noah.. I'll write more in a couple week, when school closes for the holidays... I'll be at home, and bored...
I miss you every second of the day... still... beleive me.. time doesn't heal...these scars won't heal... only two days, but too many memories to heal, good memories!
I love you I love you I love you