**Disclaimer** If you know me in my 'real' life and stumble across this blog- please know that I write here for healing, and to feel close to my Noah, and close to my grief. At times these letters may seem sad, angry, and at times, crazy. Please don't worry about me- this is how I help myself heal. If you have questions, just ask- if you know me well at all, you know that I love talking about my Noah.

Friday, August 15, 2008


Hi Baby Boy..

I love you so much.. I hope you never ever forget that.
Today is a very hard day.. I want you back with me.. I want to cuddle you, and hold you, I want to be a Mummy who is there for their child.. not who just writes them notes on a blog.
Oh Noah- I am so sorry that you didn't get a chance at a long life.. that I couldn't save you.. that you had to die. You don't deserve this.. Daddy and I don't deserve this. It's so hard.

Mummy needs your help Noah- I need you to look down on my and smile, I need your strength, I need to be ok, I need to know that you are ok.

I love you my sweet boy