**Disclaimer** If you know me in my 'real' life and stumble across this blog- please know that I write here for healing, and to feel close to my Noah, and close to my grief. At times these letters may seem sad, angry, and at times, crazy. Please don't worry about me- this is how I help myself heal. If you have questions, just ask- if you know me well at all, you know that I love talking about my Noah.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

How can blenders make me sad?

Hi Bear Bear,
Grandma and Poppy arrive in a few days, they are coming for a week, before they go off to England to be with Uncle Peter and Aunt Kate when they have their baby, your cousin!
It will be nice to be with my Mum on mother's day- we haven't been together for that in a long time. Grandma leaves on Mother's day, but at least she will be here for a few hours!

I bought a Magic Bullet today, that's a blender thing. I bought it mostly for making Charlotte's food- It made me think of you. I am just now beginning to buy things for her, that weren't yours first. We had everything we needed for your first few months- everything- I've hardly even had to buy many diapers for your sister because we had so many for you, in different sizes.  It's weird to buy things for her, other than clothes. I don't know why. It's a little sad- it makes me feel like little by little I am losing you. Strange, how a blender can do that.  I didn't get to make your baby food. and that makes me sad.  The Magic Bullet is fun though, I must say. I'm sure you'd love the smotthie Mummy is drinking right now- berries and yogurt and juice- Yum!

Well.. just writing to say I love you, and to let you know that, like always, I am thinking of you.

Love you forever,