**Disclaimer** If you know me in my 'real' life and stumble across this blog- please know that I write here for healing, and to feel close to my Noah, and close to my grief. At times these letters may seem sad, angry, and at times, crazy. Please don't worry about me- this is how I help myself heal. If you have questions, just ask- if you know me well at all, you know that I love talking about my Noah.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

.......

0  cards  1 card (thanks Christine!)
2 phone calls
1 email
1 set of flowers

year two is much lonelier than year one.

I can't expect people to remember, and honour him as I do each year.

I can't expect people to feel sorry for me on this day, forever.

In a way, I'm glad people don't feel sorry for me.

In a way, I wish they would.

I just wish this wasn't something that I even had to think about.

Why can't I live in ignorant bliss too?

_____________________________

Today marks two years since Noah's death. Actually it was exactly 2 years ago to the hour that he was sent to Sick Kids hospital- noone thought he would die. Then... 12 hours later, he was dead.
Unbelievable.

From this - blowing bubbles!(24 hours before he died)

To this (as we said goodbye)
Beautiful, Loved, Wanted - in both pictures.
Beautiful, Loved, Wanted- still

I love you forever Noah.
Mummy

5 comments:

Hope's Mama said...

Oh Jane, I'm so sorry. This leaves me worried as I approach two years. But then, harly surprised either. It really feels like we're in this alone from here on in. At least we all have each other.
Noah is so very beautiful.
He is loved and missed.

Krista said...

I know lots of people think of you. They just don't know what to say.

And not everyone's good with dates, so they might not remember the exact day. (Jocelyn even forgets the exact day of my birthday sometimes.)

I know Jocelyn and I speak of Noah, not often but we did speak of him earlier this week. Wade and I speak of Noah. My mom thinks of you often, and of Noah. I know you didn't know her well, but she was so upset to hear of Noah's passing. And we talk about you - she's thrilled about Charlotte.

Noah is NOT forgotten. He is remembered and loved.

Jill said...

You and Noah are so thought of! I love the picture of him blowing little bubbles. So sweet. I have my box of items to be shipped out to Doing Good In Her Name. I want to add a couple more things before sending it in Noah's honor.

xx

Anonymous said...

Dear Jane

Thinking of you today.

Alison from North Bramalea

Akul's mama said...

Hugssssss

Thinking of Noah and I will read his story again today to honor him. We love you sweet baby XO XO.