**Disclaimer** If you know me in my 'real' life and stumble across this blog- please know that I write here for healing, and to feel close to my Noah, and close to my grief. At times these letters may seem sad, angry, and at times, crazy. Please don't worry about me- this is how I help myself heal. If you have questions, just ask- if you know me well at all, you know that I love talking about my Noah.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Hi Monkey..

I miss you a lot today- I miss you everyday- but today just seems extra sad.
Maybe it is because my work is being really unsupportive- I guess they just don't understand how much I loved you, and how much it hurts me when I hear little children ask when you are coming back- because I know you can't.. but I wish you could.
I don't blame the children.. but I also don't want to be pushed to teach them and have really hard emotional days because of it..
Anyways my little monkey man.. I have some good news... I called SickKids today to see how much money has been raised in your name. I found out it is a whopping $3431.48. I was so happy to know that the money donated in memory of you could be used to purchase something big for the NICU bereavement unit. I talked to Lori at SickKids- she said she is going to use the money to go towards a camera and video camera so other little babies can have their picture taken like you did.

I love you.. I love you so much.. I love you more thank anything. No matter what else happens in my life, know that you are the one and only every you.. and because of you, my life will never be the same.
I love you forever,
Mummy

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