**Disclaimer** If you know me in my 'real' life and stumble across this blog- please know that I write here for healing, and to feel close to my Noah, and close to my grief. At times these letters may seem sad, angry, and at times, crazy. Please don't worry about me- this is how I help myself heal. If you have questions, just ask- if you know me well at all, you know that I love talking about my Noah.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Only the beginning

My Dearest Noah,

I got the idea to write letters to you not on my own.. as I have very little useful brain space right now, but from another Mummy whose baby is with you in heaven. Some people say that writing stuff down can help the grief process, so here I go, writing to you.

It will be nice to be able to tell you everything that is going on- I'm sure your Great-Nanny, and all your Great Grampys, and maybe Justin, and Kelly Anne will take turns reading these to you-- because I know you are still so little.. too little to read.

It has been three and a half months since your daddy and I had the best day of our lives- the day you were born.. and about the same amount of time since we have the very worst day of our lives, the day the you were taken from us, to live in heaven. People say time heals everything- but i'm not sure if that is true. How can I 'get over' my son- I can't! and I won't! Don't worry! You are not soething I can get over! You are my precious lamb, my little monkey and my perfect baby boy. I won't get over you- I will love you forever- and because you would want me to, I will continue to live my life to the fullest- the fullest I can at the time!

I love you