**Disclaimer** If you know me in my 'real' life and stumble across this blog- please know that I write here for healing, and to feel close to my Noah, and close to my grief. At times these letters may seem sad, angry, and at times, crazy. Please don't worry about me- this is how I help myself heal. If you have questions, just ask- if you know me well at all, you know that I love talking about my Noah.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Mondays are hard

Hi Muffin..
Why is it that I find Monday's hard??

Daddy said he dreamt of you the other night.. I was jealous, because, as I told you before, I don't dream anymore.
I wish I could dream of you, even if it were just once.

Tonite Daddy and I are going to clean up the house.. because grandma and poppy are coming, and we are going to go for ice cream.. i think Daddy knows it was a hard day for mummy.. and he knows it is good for me to get out of the house and do something... and we all know that daddy LOVES ice cream!

I'm doing laundry right now.. i ran out of detergent.. so I had to use the baby detergent that we had all ready for your clothes.. i wish I was washing your clothes.

Well.. this is a short note.. i have lots to clean, and before long daddy will be home and wanting ice cream.
Don't forget that I love you. I hope you are playing nicely with others up there.. give Nanny, and all your great granddaddys lots of hug and kisses.. I know great grandaddy and poppy are teaching you to fish.. and i'm sure grampy L and G are teaching you all about using tools, and about trains. ..Great nanny is probably making sure you are well fed, well dressed and that you use your manners. I know they are all so proud of you- and are taking care of you, because I can't. They loved me, so I know they love you too. Is Justin teaching you football?? and Kelly Anne teaching you to swim?? I wish I could be there to see you... I don't even know a way to make my life easier right now.. if you think of something... send it to me in a little dream, will you?
Like Cole and Breanna's Mummy says... If loved could have saved you, you would have lived forever...
I love you Noah,